A mountain-top experience in your relationship with Jesus is one of those times when you feel closer to Him than you ever have before (or in a long time). Many people have these at church camp or at a concert or in church. The only certain things about them is that you will be changed and then attacked. The devil doesn't like that you are closer to Jesus so he attacks you really hard afterwards. Most times these "valleys" are really tough.
When I was in college, someone told me that when I have a mountain-top experience and God tells me to do something, I need to listen. Well.. in the 16 days of 2007, it has taken an entire mountain range for God to get a hold of me. I have been in such a roller coaster of ups and downs. Some of my valleys have been really dark.
The first valley and mountain top was in Germany on my birthday- or actually the morning after. I was miserable about all the changes involved with moving to Hamburg and not finding a place to live. God met me at 2AM on the bathroom floor of our hotel room and showed me that my life in the States was too comfortable and in that comfort, I had been ignoring Him. He was right. I was relying on myself and not Him.
Then came the busyness of the next day of flat-hunting and the emotions of leaving Ken for 4 weeks on Saturday to return. I was worried that I would be bored and lonely in Hamburg. I rapidly descended from the mountain. God showed up again in worship on Sunday to show me that even if I am lonely in Germany, He is still there (Mountain #2). He also began to burden my heart for the people of Germany. He refreshed my memory of the women on the Reeperbaum (red light district) and how all the signs there were in English. English-speaking tourists (Americans?) support the exploitation of these ladies, maybe I can do something to help them out of it.
Then on Monday, I went back to work. I love my job, so the thought of leaving it began to tear me up inside. I began to resent Germany for getting in the way of advancing my career. Satan tried to tempt me with a colleague saying, "Your husband can go on to Germany without you. Stay until the legislative session is over." This woman is a dear friend and she meant this to encourage me and tell me how needed I am in my position. However, the evil one twisted her words into temptation. I was really tempted to put my job above Ken. I said no to this suggestion, but the thoughts were there. Why did I want my job? Because I was PROUD of myself in it.
Thank goodness for Mountain #3. Tonight was East 91st's servant recognition dinner. It was a time for the church to honor the unsung (humble!!) servants. These are the folks that handle parking lot traffic, open the door in any weather, pass communion, and work the information desk. Hearing the stories of these servants made me realize how proud I have been in all of this. I have been putting all of my needs and wants in front of both my #1 and my #2. To both, I have been extremely prideful and selfish.
My #1 (God) has given me provision to work for His Kingdom for an entire year. At the dinner tonight, Kris Green said something that hit me really hard. This humble servant said, "If only I didn't have to work full-time, then I could serve so much more." Here I am wallowing in grief that I am not going to have a job. Jesus used this woman to remind me that He has provided for me through Ken and National Starch so that I CAN serve full-time. It is a gift not a curse (as the evil one has been telling me).
To Ken, my #2, thank you. Thank you for your patient companionship through these mountains and valleys. Thank you for being my provider. Thank you for pointing me to the Word in my valleys. Thank you for your patience, grace and forgiveness. Thank you for your love. I'm excited to see how God is going to use the Lawrance team in Germany.
Kristy
"You rescue the humble, but you humiliate the proud. You light a lamp for me. The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness." Psalm 18:27-28
2 comments:
Hey Kristy!
Awesome, awesome blog! Thank you so much for sharing about all your experiences. :) As you probably know, Florida isn't exactly one of my top ten places to live in the country. It's just where God planned for Matt and I to live for however long He wants us to. It's taken me way too long to accept the realization that sometimes God's plans are bigger than me. Over the past several months, I've become more at peace with being here and it's due to the fact that God needed to heal me, but it was in a roundabout way I never could have imagined. God's fingerprints have been all over the place when I look back at our stay in Florida...from the people we've met, the things we've gone through.
All that to say is that maybe there's a higher or more specific purpose in His sending you and Ken to Germany. And who knows what it could be?
Do I still want to move back to Indiana? Um...hello? Yes!!! BUT I want to stay as long as God wants us to, to fulfill His purposes for us and in us here. I do hope that is an encouraging thought. :)
Erin:)
Dear Kristy,
I appreciated this more than you could ever know. I've loved our friendship over the years and am so thankful how you have been such a blessing and inspiration in my life, and in my walk. I know I have told you this before, but YOU are that one person that has strengthened my faith and encouraged me. Whenever anyone asks if there has been a certain person that has led me and strengthend me, I always think of you. Your enthusiasm and direction has always amazed me, and I've always viewed you as the gardener of the roots of my faith. That is not meant to put pressure on you or cause you to feel responsible if I slip up, but I want you to know how much I have recognized your fire and it constantly rubs off on me. I remember how important it is for my faith when you have pointed out "spiritual groans," or the work of the Holy Spirit, and "craving the milk."
I'll never forget what an important part of my life you have been since our age of one.
Thanks for everything,
Juj
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